I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
