When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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