you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
