I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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