I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize