Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
