My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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