you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
