Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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