Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.