why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.