I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
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She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
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It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Use "feeling words"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.