trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I will pee on everything he values.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED