So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
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Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
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TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..