Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
