i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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