i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
