nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize
