piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
