Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Randomize
