The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
