FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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