You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
