Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
