capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
