why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
