i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
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A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
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