Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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