Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
