my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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