So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
