One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...