I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?