Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.