I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
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I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
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Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.