Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
