Dual....:-)
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
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I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
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I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
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