i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
