Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
