I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I forget how to act sober
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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