I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
