And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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