You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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