ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
