What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
