too bad you live with your parents still
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
