You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
