Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
