I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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