she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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