By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
vagina is talking i cant
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
