Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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