Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
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Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
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I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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