I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
