im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i think i have herpe
just one?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
