i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
