He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
