for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
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Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
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New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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