Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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