Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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