are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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