we're blogging at a bar
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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