yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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