:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize