It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
