you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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