I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
