Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
