dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
